The reason I decided to write the topic above as “Marital Relationships” from a Christian Perspective is that we all know where Christianity stands on various topics of relationships; we relate to each other from the perspective that we treat each other the way that Jesus has treated us in our existential beliefs. That is,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:Philippians 2:3-5 NIV
Howbeit, that’s the boundary that God gives us among ourselves in a general sense. When it comes to further “PHYSICAL INTIMACY” and sex becomes involved, Yahweh has designated some rules of engagement regarding how this should take place in order to display His Glory. For example, sex with animals, children and sex out of divinely-illegal lust has been banned by Yahweh. “Divinely-Illegal” lust sounds trite because the “Eros” love displayed by a Husband and a wife seem equal in expression with the “Eros” love displayed by two fornicating heterosexual couples. However, one is lust and the other is love from Yahweh’s perspective.
EFFECTS OF FEMINISM ON MODERN-DAY WOMEN
Since the advent of feminism in the 1960s till now, we have seen quite the change in the dating/ relationship landscape. Once upon a time, men used to be known as “gentlemen” in order to distinguish themselves from the “wild men”. Wild men existed in those days because the patriarchy was in its unrefined form. Men went to war and being a “man” meant something real in those days: it meant that the responsibility you faced came along with authority. After the age of enlightenment (mostly among men), “some women” decided to have their own enlightenment starting from England and their ideology spread to the USA and to the rest of the world; they called themselves the suffragettes. Was this the rise & fall of the “Lady” who didn’t appreciate the gentlemen? Or the “Wild Woman” who was strong, independent and only needed a man like a fish needed a bike.
Feminism has been allowed to run its course unhindered as the moral norm in modern times to the point that we now have the marital relationship culture that we have nowadays of high divorce rates. The modern days mentality on marital relationships is different from the old-school traditional mentality on dating. To what extent this is a result of the times such as the introduction of biological technologies such as birth control pills; material technologies such as household cleaning devices (washing machines, vacuum hoovers) and the internet remains a multi-lateral analysis that must be looked into. Once upon a time, women COMMANDED relationship commitments from men in order to exchange sexual loyalties for fear of getting pregnant as a single woman. And men demanded sexual purity from women in order to ensure paternity and the best assurance for his seed/ DNA legacy. But with Hot-girl-Summer on the rise and women being allowed to go through their “hoe-phase” like sexual purity is a naivite-curse to expel out of their system, this has been encouraged from the historical background of the sexual liberation movement brought on by feminism from the 1960.
Women cannot be free until released from the tyranny of reproduction,wrote Shulamith Firestone in 1970 (Firestone, S. (2015 ). The dialectic of sex. London, U.K.: Verso Books, p. 213.)
Ectogenesis has been trying to liberate women from their wombs because not only is the heart-core mentality of the feminist movement to create strong and independent women who are independent from a patriarch over their lives (like it was traditionally) but feminist desire to be liberated/ independent from biology. The feminist movement played on the female psychological archetypical narratives of their natural masochistic relationship with pain.
Yes, women have a natural/ biological masochistic relationship with pain. I may not have said that in the most poetically aesthetic fashion but I am rationally thinking right now; I will change its poetry another time when I update this article. Let me explain; the female has her menstral cycle which is pain as she bleeds once a month; then if the mental cycle stops and she goes through menopause, then there is pain in that too. However, the only time she gets a break from such pain is during pregnancy – a 9-months grace – only to have pain in giving birth, hopefully, without medical complications. In fact, without being sexually graphic here, the process on having sex as a woman seems painful, howbeit, its interpreted as pleasurable for the woman; and the woman’s biology in their sexual monthly cycle seems that a woman is not the same chemical state every week. Being married to a woman, in my opinion, seems like being married to 3 different people (if not more)
To add more to that, the female brain is created to have 10 times more white matter than men. White matter is all about “networking” and connecting regions of the brain and central nervous system to other regions. While men tend to have about 6 times more grey matter than women. Grey matter helps in memory and information processing. So, in general, when a man wants to recall a thought, he tends to search his brain, however, when a woman wants to recall a though, she tends to search her body. This is why women prioritise emotions before logic and men tend to prioritise logic before emotions. Men and women’s brains have certain holes in it. Who is to say that one is right and superior to the other. For example, in disciplining a child, a man could traumatise the child and do the very worst of breaking the spirit of the child because his logical side is on major-operation; howbeit, the female could spoil the child becaue her emotions are in major-operation. When the male and female brain overlap in a beautiful negotiation with themselves, we tend to fill up our blindspots mentally. This is also why children raised in a BOTH PARENTS household statistically tend to turn out better than those raised in a single parents household.
So I digress, feminism hijacks the female’s psychological relationship with “pain” and makes the woman see oppression everywhere, including her own biology. Sadly, According to a 2007 report from the National Bureau of Economic Research, “As women have gained more freedom, more education, and more power, they have become less happy.” Not because modern female empowerment is sad, but because they have thrown away the attributes of femininity to favour a more masculine-feminist paradigm of masculine strength, masculine independence (mostly in women career) and masculine experience (mostly in sex). Sadly, not only do the modern women have to worry about her biological burdens as the female, she now desires to carry on the masculine burden. The days are coming (and is here) that women will be drafted for wars and chivalry will die as good gentlemen stop coming to rescue (wild) women from wild men ALL IN THE NAME OF GENDER EQUALITY.
WELCOME TO GENDER EQULITY – Dear Women – Welcome to a man’s world as an equal and to make matters worse, men are not saving women from transgenderism especially in modern day sports. The patriarchy is now weak in today’s westernised culture.
SECULAR IDEAS OF MEN NAVIGATING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
So, this is good. Men and Women treated as equals. Howbeit, when it comes to the CONFINES of a relationship, there are a few praxologies out there that define marital relationships. People tend to define it in terms of the pills from the movies called “The Matrix”.
- Blue Pill
- Red Pill
- Purple Pill
- Black Pill
- White Pill
The Blue Pill is an unaware man who chooses to stay traditional-in-mentality despite the fact that modern day women are no longer traditionally minded (eg a Strong independent Boss Babe Mindset that needs no man)
The Red Pill is a man who chooses to become modern and adjust in mentality with the fact that modern day women are no more traditional. They accept the rules of the modern game. Many PUA – Pick Up Artists (or playboys) – are in this camp.
The purple pill is that man that sees modern women for what they are and still chooses to remain traditional despite facing the onslaught of female modern day mentalities and treatments.
The black pill (such as MGTOWS – Men Going Their Own Way and INCELS – Involuntary Celibates and Gay Men) are men who have decided to be sexually independent and never play the game of courting women. They are Red pilled to the psychological fatality of only getting their sex life via prostitutes or paying for it and having children via adoptions or buying the egg from a woman or die as an eternal bachelor; they want nothing to do with women because they believe that modern day women are a net loss than a net profit in their existential lives. These kind of men find it rare to find an old school traditional feminine woman or have been treated so traumatically by divorced wives or girlfriends.
The white pill are men who see themselves as saviours coming to change the horrible state of modern day female thinking. They want to help both men and women navigate the truth of how to have a wonderful relationship
Now, which praxeology do I subscribe to? Well, I hate to be limited. Upon studying them all, i like to hold all of them in power so that I know which gear to switch into when I deal with different women.
Phew! That took a while, now I come to the biblical perspective after covering all that ground. The redpill generally tends to belive that promiscuity is good for men but destroys women. However, its a degree of damage we need to consider. A promiscuous woman tends to loose her ability to chemically pair-bond with her man via oxytocin in her brain. And women are the ones majorly causing the huge divorce rates nowadays. A study from the American Sociological Association confirmed the findings of other studies. The data showed that 69% of the divorces resulted from female decisions. Among college-educated women, wives initiated their divorces close to 90% of the time. Promiscuous women though, pair-bond perfectly with their children with a greater allegiance
So marriage rates are on the decline and masculine chivalry is practically dead unless a woman earns or works for it nowadays like her feminine lady ancestors worked for it in those days among “wild men” to transform them into “gentlemen”.
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.1 Peter 3:1-2 NKJV
Sadly, women have lost the ART of feminine charm over men and our future generation (Gen Z) are loosing interest in sex and its meaningfulness in this age or free pornography, gender confusion, lower masculine population testoterone and a very weak patriarchy. Though these can be found on niche online videos, we have lost the female old traditional common school of how to speak, walk and own a true “feminine power” where we see the matriachs teaching women how to balance a book on their head and have a posture or mannerisms of the divine feminine. The bible says that women, through their conducts can make their husbands become Christians. So, while the book of Ephesians 5:21 begins with a general “submission” we ought to show each other as Christians; it goes on in the next verse to tell wives to “submit” to their husbands. This is to show that there is a submission to the general public as Christians that is quite different from a submission of wives to husbands who engage in physical sexual intimacy together and most especially where children are involved. This is the way that God wants His institution to function. Sadly, the present day matriachs (of feminists) have bastardised the word “submission” to modern-day women with something synonymous to the oppression of slavery using true examples of patriachs who abused submissive women. To what extents husbands were abusing their patriarchal powers in those traditional days where chivalry was in its prime and ever so abundantly free of charge, remains to be seen. Or maybe it was polygamy making women and children unable to truly connect with their husbands? Thats another topic to research.
Promiscuity in men though makes them pair-bond with their woman (or women) but they loose the ability to pair-bond with their seeds/children. Either this is psychological or chemical, i haven’t researched the chemical side. However, when you concentrate your seed (i.e, sperm) on one woman, rather than a lot of women, men tend to value and highly cherish the products/ legacies that come out from that, than when they waste their seeds on many women. Promiscuous women destroy the present but promiscuous men destroy the future. Sometimes women push men to be promiscuous, while other times men could equally push women to be promiscuous. So is modern-day feminism the result of the faults of the patriarch? or is the patriarch formed by the hypergamous necessities of natural female biology and psychology?
MODERN CHRISTIAN ROADMAP
A good modern-day Christian relationship needs good Godly stages before sex occurs
- seeing each other
- vetting/ screening each other
- friendship stage of equality
- exclusivity stage of inequality
- assuming responsibility stage
- assuming authority stage
- marriage and sexual intimacy
Feminine Submission and Masculine Leadership must come in the exclusive stage. Responsibility without authority is slavery and sadly, there are men who have responsibility in their homes where if something goes wrong, they take the blame if they don’t protect and provide; however, they have no authority from non-submissive women. On the contrast, there are women who do not know how to befreind authority. “befriending” connotes equality while “authority” connotes a superior. This feminine art has been lost and men, no longer knowing how to be present-day men (being more feminine than their ancestors), have lost the art of masculine leadership within the confines of a happy and successful marriage relationship.
Men have their troubles and women have their troubles. We just have to work together and iterate where we have gone wrong so that we can enjoy Godly Christian marriages in this broken modern age. It is imperative that a woman finds a man who’s leadership she can trust and this is normally a man who fears God because people change – you might thnk you know a man for 5 years and then he changes because God is not the glue toyour marriage. A man that trusts the leadership of God is to be desired. A woman must show subMISSION to a man on God’s MISSION. It is imperative that husbands and wives pray together becasuse a praying family stays together. It is also important that men learn to reign in the colossal beasts of their sexual libido as the Holy Spirit helps them in this hypersexual, onlyfans, hookup culture, sexaul meaninglessness era. Yes its tough but with Jesus all things are possible. This means that men need to find a woman who trust their leadership, gives them peace and MARRY THAT ONE for that is the only path to a happy marriage.
This is just the tip of the iceberg regarding a successful marriage. Howbeit, I have only spoken from the perspective of the initial stages. There are many other dimensions to having a successful marriage as many books have been written about it. There are many advises and consell out there, this is just my own upon my research.
What do you think about it? Am I reasonable? Am I wrong? Put your comments below.
God bless you