So I’m writing this post to gather my mind around MGTOW. I, personally, I love women – well, as a Child of God lol … but I have watched some of these MGTOW videos and they have actually caused me to think.
Many of them actually point to the difference between men and women in general and the rise of neo-feminism – i.e., third wave feminism, spiting into the hurt and injury of MGTOW men, such as the #MeToo hashtage movement; have not seem, in pop-culture, to add an ounce of betterment to the affairs of men.
So what should be done regarding these RedPilled men. There other redpilled men such as PUA (Pick Up Artists), MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) etc.
I personally take issue with the claims of the MGTOW community: that women (in a statistical generality sense) are hypergamous in nature and cannot be trusted to “actually” love you for who you are – in the good times and in the bad time. Alas, this is blinded by the fact that men are polygamous in nature too. This is why I do not favour that men treat women like objects to be manipulated by money, fame or status or anything. I think that women need to be treated as subjects … thinking, intellectual subjects. Now there are times when women are irrational and an argument can be made that a woman could be more irrational than a man (again, of course, in a statistical generality sense). Now let us face the facts here like adults; women do have their time in the month when they go through their periods and more credit should be given to them for managing to hold on and hold through, through out the pain, and trying their best to maintain their mind and heart through out their period. This is where men and women need to communicate together in self-awareness.
I feel like what men and women need is just marriage counselling. Now, its not like you really need a marriage counsellor, but there are books that you could read. I personally recommend God-fearing books; and I personally recommend that you pray during your study of marriage and how to build your marriage relationship togehter prayerfully as the Holy Spirit helps you.
Now, its not just the biology of women that makes them irrational, but lets talk about psychcological baggages. Such as personality, atitude, psychological or mental health problems that both parties could have. Self-awareness is very important in marriage and the ability to communicate it to yourselves together is likewise very important. It could be that the man is not in touch with his feminie side and the woman is not in touch with her masculine side – this is what leads to animus/ anima posessions and this could ruin marriages.
Or we could talk about SOCIAL SKILLS. In a relationship, this is very important. This is why counselling in marriages are very important. For example, when the husband comes back from a hard day of work, this is probably not the best time to tell him about all the people who you dont like at your workplace. Maybe he just wants to hear your sweet voice telling him that its ok; or snuggle up to him and watch netflix or something. Or bring him a good meal and make the atmostphere of the house positive. In bed, there are many hard topics you can present to your husband peacefully while kissing him. Now, this is just my advise; you study your own husband and find out if he acutally likes you hear you complain about your work place, when he just comes back from work – to each their own.
Or imagine the wife who is grieving because someone she knew – but that you didnt know – died recently. Thats not the time to diminish her feelings; to be upbeat and positive in the house as if nothing is really bothering your darling wife. Now, again, to each their own … if being upbeat and disregarding the feelings of your wife actually turns her on – good for you. All I’m saying is that you need to optimise your marriage programme and gear it more and more towards the “ideal”. What does an ideal marriage mean to “both of you”? Maybe you cannot voice it out directly. But you’ve got days, weeks, months, to indirectly find out from yourselves.
“Hey! Darling, I gotta go to hang out with my friend John, we’re going football/ golf/ fishing … if you don’t want me to go, just say so and I’ll call it off”
Considerate things like that.
Now just saying it is not enough. But you need to watch her body language, and probe for the spirit behind her – yes, marriage also means that you have to get good at reading minds, get used to it, marriage is not for kids. But hey! don’t think I’m being unfair. If your love is genuine, you’d ACTUALLY want to know what your lover is thinking at every point in time and in what way you can make their “thinking” all the more better/ positive.
I have said all this because, yes, marriage is difficult. People actually fall out of love with themselves. Many times, marriages come together in all the euphoria of love, but after 18 months or so, dissolves because both parties are not “feeling it again”. Or let’s just say that one of them is outright abusive. What should be done? Hate the other gender because you have been denied access to see your children? Become a victim just becuse you’re gonna be paying alimony for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!? Yes, I know how bad that is. I think this is where men and women need to take a stand and come to know the tragic existence of MGTOW men and how it doesnt just ruin men, but also ruins women. “How does it ruin women? In most cases, they seem to move right to the next victim man” … i hear you say. Well, a man’s sexual past may not matter as much as a woman. First of all, a woman has a womb. The sexual organ of a woman is biologically made to accept DNA especially from sperm cells. So, the more sperm cells have been through her, then more chances that her womb is washed with imprints of other people. Also, in the woman’s brain, the bonding chemicals are extremly strong – even stronger than that of men. When a woman gives birth to a baby, the bonding she has with that baby is almost unbreakable. During a woman’s orgasm, the bonding she has with her husband is also very binding, emotionally/ psychologically. This is why hot flashes are very common among women – mildly to put, a woman’s biology can be really complicated, even for her. And also, this is why they smell of perfume from an ex-husband can also trigger deep memories in a woman – its just the bonding of the woman to the man already. This is why as a conservative christian, I hate the sexual liberation era where women where not gided properly into the virtues of keeping themselves in such a way that makes men into responsible adults. The sexual liberation has hurt women by deceiving them that they had the same libido as men. This is why I believe that the #MeToo movement was a backlash against the sexual liberation movement. Women are more affected by sex even if it does not result in having children and that’s a fact.
Can a woman live like this? Receiving money alone and no love from an innocent man she is refusing to show his children to but yet, taking alimony from him? Maybe she can. Maybe she has thrown away her ideal of ACTUAL love. Maybe she does not want to hold on tight to this man and try everything in her power to make it work, make the marriage work, for the children. But one thing I can be sure of – she will never be the same and she would have to learn how to live with another man’s DNA in her and the inability to emotionally/ deeply bond with another in faithful commitment; because, unless by the fear of God or the Grace of God, no man wants to treat another man’s “whore” like a princess.
Now I’m not saying that women should not leave scumbag husbands who mistreat them – but I am suggesting that you try not to go down without a fight from ALL perspectives. If you have to pray, and fast and walking into hell to get back your God-given marriage, you do that. If after all that, its still not working… or you hear the Holy Spirit tell you, “no, don’t go back”… then you obey. There are marriage counselling, books you can read, strategies you can try, communications you can talk to your spouse about – just dont resort to divorce without the near death experience of a good Godly fight. In most cases, I personally believe, you’ll win.
My message to MGTOW men is that, they should stop being bitter. I do not see a lot of men’s hearts that are sweet and pleasant in the MGTOW men. Yes, they have every right to be bitter, they have every right to hold unforgiveness in their heart, they have all the reason and logic to justify and back it all up; but all you are doing is turning yourself into a monster by demonising another specie. There are good women out there. Many of them have heard your voice MGTOW men and women too are also well aware of how extremely nasty and toxic other women can be.
- Using sweet voices to manipulate husbands
- using the children to manipulate husbands
- refusing sex until demands are met
- provocing and nagging the husbands
- character defamation etc
However, its courageous to balance that out with how pathetic men can be too. Then MGTOW men can teach others, both men and women, how to live in marriage happily rather than being bitter against everyman who is in a marriage. I would love to see a more sweet MGTOW generation.